HOLDING ON TIGHTLY

Dear Jesus,

I had high hopes for this Lent.
The vices I indulge in, I haven’t given up.
The extra time in prayer I intended, I haven’t created the space for.
The frustrations I had going into Lent, I still hold on to.
The recognition of all these things I fall short of only frustrates me even more.
At the beginning of this journey, I desired to walk with You,
Fully aware this is the season in which You entered the desert.
You granted my prayer.
I am in the desert and finding it challenging,
Because it is not the desert I asked for.
It is the wilderness,
Wild and untamed,
Immune to my being able to predict it,
To control it,
To regulate it,
To enter and leave as I please.
I am thirsty and tired.
But Lord, help me to remember I am walking this with You and not alone.
I intended to accompany You,
When now it is I who am clinging on to You.
Why should it be any other way?

Your Little One

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