GREAT, ANOTHER LEPER?
One evening, our 13-pound puppy ate almost a pound of chocolate in one sitting. Upon our discovery, we drove very quickly to the emergency vet and waited as they pumped her stomach.
When we bought a dog, I promised myself three things:
My husband and I would be the dog’s owners, not parents.
I would not get overly emotional about the dog.
The dog would never own shoes.
I have kept rules #1 and #3. I broke #2 when the friendly nurse asked us if we wanted to say “goodnight” to our puppy before she spent the night at the vet.
I sobbed.
In short, I am a prideful, self-loving human who wants to be different. I am easily judgmental of others and myself when our scripts are too similar.
“How are you doing?”
“Covid is hard, I’m lonely, scared”… yeah, okay, I’ve heard it all before.
I wish I had something different, even better, to say.
As I read the Gospel today, I thought, “Great. Another leper.” You may be surprised that I imagine Jesus saying that to me too. “Great. It’s Teresa. Another depressed, anxious millennial who’s having trouble figuring out my plan for her life.”
Translation: I think I’m better than that. I should have more interesting things to say to Jesus.
But I’m not, and I don’t.
My reflection this week has been on just this. Jesus does not care about whether my problems are unique or if they’re the same as Sally’s down the street. He cares about me because they are my problems. He says, “Teresa, I do will it that you be healed.”
I didn’t want to be an emotional dog parent owner. But I am an emotional dog owner. I didn’t want to be anxious. But I am anxious. I didn’t want to be just like everyone else. But sometimes I am just like everyone else. And Jesus looks at leper after leper in the eyes and joins them, sees them, heals them.
Today I’ll pray for the humility of that leper. I certainly need it.
What do you find hard to accept about yourself or your life? How does Jesus encounter you in these hard to accept places?
Pray the “Intimate Request” prayer by Fr. John Eagan SJ
“How do you look at me, Lord? What do you feel in your heart for me?”
Teresa Nygard
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