HUMBLE TRUST
“Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word ….” – Mt 8:8
I am not ____ enough. Not beautiful, good, smart, skinny, strong, hard-working, holy, special, etc. enough. I used to think this feeling of not enough was a constant refrain mainly among young adults. However, I see this nagging voice with its self-judging tone haunting many older adults as well, myself included. We go through seasons when this voice gets us to focus on ourselves and what we are not able to do, our limitations, weaknesses, and failings.
The healing miracle in today’s Gospel is such Good News to me. The centurion acknowledges his powerlessness to help his servant, as well as, his humility before Jesus. However, he does not focus on his smallness. Instead, he trusts in Jesus’ authority and power to heal, and to do it from afar: “Master, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed.” It was enough for Jesus to say the word. He echoes the central figure of Advent, an unknown teenage girl named Mary of Nazareth. When the angel announces her great vocation to bear God in the world, Mary responded with “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Like the centurion, she confesses her smallness, but doesn’t stop there. Yet, she places her trust in the promise of God.
We have a similar opportunity at Mass before receiving the Eucharist when we pray: “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” We activate Mary’s trust, echo the centurion’s petition, and seek similar healing. In small ways outside of Mass, we have opportunities to learn humble trust. A similar shift is possible with the recognition that we are not _____ enough. Yet, we can let go of our preoccupation with whether we are worthy or unworthy of being loved and we can simply continue with, “Only say the word …”
As we enter this season of waiting and expectant hope, we are invited to embrace this journey that begins with humble acceptance and placing greater reliance on the One whose word is trustworthy.
Faithful one, help me to accept my smallness and trust in Your great abiding love.