BEARING WITNESS
The day after Christmas, we are confronted with Stephen’s martyrdom. Maybe not what the doctor ordered for those dealing with a post-Christmas hangover (literal or figurative). While Christian martyrdom is still happening today in many places, it is likely a remote reality for most of us reading this. I recently watched the episode of Thomas More’s martyrdom on the Tudors. If I was faced with that, what would I do? I honestly don’t know.
Such an extreme highlights the fundamental choice we make to live for God in dramatic fashion. A less extreme but equally fundamental question might be the question of whether or not, if given the choice upon dying, we would choose heaven. Though the choice of heaven would seem obvious to a religious believer, a Claretian friend of mine has offered, in retreat talks and homilies, a powerful question: have you considered just how that choice could be offered? Would you recognize it? I think I know pretty well the difference between right and wrong but I’ve chosen the wrong countless times, when I should have recognized the difference. I regularly struggle with how to tell the difference between the good and the better (the magis, the more). Should I stay up and finish this project or pause and get needed rest? All three kids need something and so does my wife, but how to triage and help each of them? What do I need to do today to manage my resources and wellbeing to be ready to meet tomorrow’s need?
This Advent and now Christmas, I am praying about my daily choices and habits. As my life continues to morph through different phases as I get older, as my children grow, as the pandemic continues, I’m challenged anew to excise things that keep me from being available to God, myself, and my loved ones. Some of what seemed important 10 years ago, doesn’t now. The austerity of our safer at home lifestyle shows me what I actually use and what I never will. In the final weeks of the semester, I struggled particularly with fatigue, self-doubt, isolation. The root of the word “martyr” in Greek means “witness.” The readings today are very “witness” focused. I am thinking today of the witness I bear. When I look at my day, I ask what my actions testify about where I place my hope and trust, or what those actions testified to others. This consideration reminds me of the “First Principle and Foundation” of St. Ignatius. Perhaps this feast is not so incongruous with yesterday’s joyful feast, but precisely the place to get back to basics in the quiet, next to the now-occupied manger.
Listen: ”When will I ever learn to live in God” By Van Morrison
What are the greatest gifts I received this Christmas? What was the witness shared with me?
Jason Coito