NOT ENOUGH?
“As they were stoning Stephen, he called out, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’” - Acts 7:59“
Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!” - Ron Burgundy
Merry Christmas! I don’t mean to be flippant with my opening quote, but I find this feast to be an example of our particular Catholic capacity – even tendency – to hold extremes together that are jarring...if we let them be. This morning we are all, hopefully, full of memories – fresh and warm like a Christmas cake – of yesterday’s celebration. Yet, our readings confront us with the confusion and drama of the early church in the wake of the Passion, death and Resurrection of Jesus. The day after Christmas we are presented with a violent, ugly martyrdom, carried out by a mob lead by a villain who is to become – in a MAJOR plot twist – one of the story’s great heroes.
Perhaps not all memories are warm today. It’s a well-known statistic that there is a rise in deaths around the holidays. My own family was confronted with this on Christmas morning just a few years ago. The Paschal mystery works this way. It celebrates the bitter in the bittersweet and doesn’t shove it aside. It mines suffering and death for the fertile soil of new life. As I read several of these Christus reflections over Advent, I found many examples of that truth. Overwhelmed feelings as consumerism, obligation, and comparison rise up to choke out the peace, “comfort and joy” that the season is supposed to embody. The Psalm today is a beautiful reminder to me to spend more time “commending my spirit” to God’s hands, as I confess that I’m relieved to be out of Advent prepping and into Christmas. I’m still not very good at it. I spend a lot of time helping others to be better at it, but it’s always easier to help another than to make the change ourselves.
The ultimate gift, of which Jesus says there is none greater, is giving our lives for others. I’ve seen many memes and articles this Advent about how we used to enjoy Christmas so much as kids, but as adults we see how much work the adults put in to making them that way. For me, it’s feeling like there’s not enough of me left at the end of the day, that what I have to give isn’t enough for my wife, kids, students, friends, and God to get what they deserve of my time, attention and care. Today reminds me that I need to keep learning the way to let God well up in my life and to trust that he’ll multiply the offering and make bounty of my not-enough. And ultimately, that my not-enough isn’t that after all; it was bounty in disguise the whole time.
Listen: “Learning How to Die” by Jon Foreman
How does my receiving this Christmas prepare me to give more generously and to take care for myself more attentively? What can I let go of so that my hands are more open to both share and receive?
Jason Coito