I TOO, THIRST

“Jesus said, ‘I thirst.’” Jn. 19:28

My Jesus,

This morning, I joined those you love as they humiliated, abandoned, beat, and prosecuted you.

Every time you fall you would look at me with eyes dancing in tenderness.  A sharp pain entered my heart as I allowed myself to experience your love.

What am I to do Jesus?  How do I respond to such love?  I wanted to run and hold you in my arms and take responsibility for my own misdeeds; I lacked the courage and the strengths to do so.  I stood, paralyzed, watching the soldiers beat you as you struggled to get up.  The only gesture I could muster was the silent tears that raced down my cheeks.

Can you feel it Jesus?  Can you feel my coward way of loving you?  Does knowing how it hurts to watch you suffer while carrying my cross, in some small ways, console and help you to continue your love journey?

Last night, when you washed my feet with our tears, you had said that you love me. I responded that I love you too – but today… today you profess your love for me in the silent endurance of agony.  With a grateful heart, I opened my hands to receive a drop of your blood, your love.  How can I respond to this new level of love that I am experiencing Jesus?

Then on the cross, you whispered, “I thirst.”  Someone touched your lips with wine, and you said, “It is finished.”

What were you thirsting for Jesus?

Were you thirsting for love?

Did you wait to receive a small gesture of compassion before you said it is done and exhaled your last breath?

Were you saying you thirst for us because you know how we each yearned to be loved?

Could this be your invitation for me to continue our journey home – by touching and embracing our wounds with faithful silent endurance the way you did today?

I too, thirst; Jesus.

Help me to enter into a deeper communion with you and others by holding and letting you transform our longings, woundedness, and brokenness into love and hope.

Your thirsting friend,

Maddie

Picture Credit: Madelina Nguyen

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