IN GOD’S TIME
"I am the LORD, your God, who grasp your right hand; It is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" - Isaiah 41:13
For me, the thought of waiting for something would always fill me both with anticipation and fear, and I'm more impatient now I think than I was on Christmas morning as a child. I am excited for the future -- both immediately with Christmas gatherings and time with loved ones; and in the future with house hunting, possible career changes, travel plans, and new opportunities to explore my passions. Behind it all, though, a sense of trepidation looms like the thunderstorm nearing. Will I get along with this person at our dinner gathering? Will the housing market be stable enough for me to buy? Do I understand what my passions are? What if I make the wrong choice?
I am someone who loves thinking of everything. Any possibility, I would probably think about it and scare myself half to death, eyes wide open into the wee hours of the morning without sleep. Lately, not only because of the holiday hustle, but also my desire to step out of my comfort zone, I have not been as active in my local church communities to give myself a fresh lens in which to look at my relationships with service, those around me, myself, and God. It has been a difficult journey, filled with ups and downs. Whereas before, service would be my anchor, but now at times, I feel lost at sea without my community, my friends I would serve with, as I am trying to deepen my faith and explore new ways to serve while focusing on other areas of my life.
Today's first reading, however, reminds me that God waits and journeys with me, holding my hand. He is a God who is slow to anger, rich in kindness. Someone with infinite patience, waiting for me to reach for His warm, comforting embrace. He continues to be there for me whether I realize it or not. In God's time, I will figure it out with His love, His grace, and with the love of those around me; I will figure out where my journey will take me in service, in my faith journey, and in my future. So many uncertainties loom, and my brain loves picking at it, but during this Advent season, I will rest with God, trust in Him, allow Him to ease my fears, and simply be present. I will embrace the excitement and look forward to it like a child opening presents on Christmas morning.
Kevin Nguyen