HOPE IN GOD-WITH-US
Today is the feast day of St. Juan Diego, the indigenous Nahua peasant to whom Our Lady of Guadalupe revealed herself in four apparitions and miraculously upon his tilma. The readings for Juan Diego’s feast day emphasize the way that God often works most powerfully and profoundly through the weak, lowly, poor, despised, and childlike, and they bring me some comfort in this Advent season.
After being exposed to COVID-19 in 2022, my partner began to show signs of declining health: chronic fatigue, body aches, and brain fog. My spouse went from being able-bodied and active, to struggling to get out of bed many days, let alone work. This has not only left them isolated, but also grief-stricken as they discern how they are called to do good and share their gifts in the world with their limitations.
As their spouse, I share in their grief. I often feel angry at my powerlessness to do anything to “fix” or heal them. Doctors lack answers and well-meaning people’s myriad suggestions feel overwhelming. Navigating the healthcare system with insurance company’s conditions and restrictions on coverage create financial barriers. Attempting to reduce our likelihood of re-infection through observing more Covid-cautious practices can feel isolating in a “post-Covid” world.
This Advent season, for my spouse and I, the word “hope” in a traditional Christian framework can feel more burdensome than helpful. Rather, our hope coexists with our grief. We must hope for God’s provision of adaptability and strength in what is, rather than solely for a change we may never see. Trust in God’s presence with us is a daily practice of surrendering to the unknown, of accepting what we cannot change. We hope in the rest Christ promises to those who are burdened and in God choosing the lowly and weak to humble the strong, as we wait for God-with-us to appear – perhaps not in the ways we might wish, but in ways beyond our imagining.
Are there places where I am struggling right now with the “burden” of hope? How might I invite God to be present with me in what is, regardless of what the future holds?
Jessica Gerhardt Jessurun