TO BE LOVED (IM)PERFECTLY
“Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed.” - 1 Jn. 3:2
As of today’s posting, I have been married for no more than one week. After 1.5 years of meticulous planning, two weeks of little sleep prior to the day, and one blessed and wonderful wedding day surrounded by our loved ones, it is surreal to know that the planning and preparation is over—that what’s left for us now is the rest of our lives.
Much like Jesus’ coming, there has been a period of preparation and anticipation. Part of what my husband and I reflected on in marriage prep was how we have grown together in Love, how Love empowers us to do more than we could have imagined, and how we intend to extend Love to others beyond ourselves.
During our engagement, I faced some lingering lies in my head that told me I was not enough, and that I had to continue doing more and more to deserve love. A turning point came when I was lovingly and compassionately reminded that I am already loved as I am, and those lies were uncovered as being untrue. I’ve learned that in the world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we must do something to earn love, especially when human love can often disappoint.
Human love is not perfect. It can carry expectation, it can feel conditional, it may be given or received without understanding. In just a couple of words, a person I love nearly ruined a night that should have been focused on celebrating love. As I vented to my husband about my disappointment in what that person said, he reminded me that people’s love, although well-meaning and valuable, can be imperfect. Even his love has been and will be imperfect at times. And as if on cue the following day, one of our godparents read us a quote from Pope Francis about forgiveness and family without knowing how relevant it was to my present struggle.
Like a gift to start my marriage, the message and lesson I received is that we always must continue learning about how to love. None of us will have it all figured out. But what we can do is remember that God already loves us as we are. We are His beloved children. And His coming into the world is a hopeful reminder that we belong in Love’s embrace. That we can be courageous in the face of uncertainty because we are already loved perfectly by Him. This Christmas, this decade, let us begin anew in loving as God loves us and continue growing as loved and loving people.
Krystelle Robeniol