“Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them.” – Mt. 28:8-9

Holy Week this year took on a surreal meaning as we began to accept the loss of our first child by miscarriage. From the moment we suspected that we were pregnant, a quiet joy began to grow. Even as fears such as miscarriage set into the back of our minds, we chose joy. The first mass we attended as a family was Ash Wednesday. For us, it seems that the liturgical seasons have flipped. Our celebration of life came during Lent.

As we shared the news with family and friends, the titles of "aunties" and "uncles" began even in utero. An older friend of ours said in quiet amazement, "I'm going to be a grandfather." Another friend when hearing the news exclaimed in pure elation, "We're pregnant!!!" Yet another would drop little snippets into our conversations about the baby. "I saw a onesie I'm going to get for the baby." Our pregnancy was becoming a shared joy and reality in this life.

We would converse with and intentionally bring the baby on adventures like road trips and runs. We'd pray for and over our baby. By choosing joy, our baby has had a life with us since their existence. They have always been and continue to be alive to us. I suppose that is the gift of our faith. Of Easter. One would think that our baby's life ending with us here on Earth and continuing into Heaven in Spirit would evoke comfort. Sometimes it does. But, there are many moments when I'm not there yet.

For me, the empty tomb represents an empty womb. And on this path I am walking, there is both darkness and light. Perhaps this is the case for some of us. While the joy of Easter abounds, the reality of our everyday life may still weigh on us, not yet transformed by a risen Christ. While the light starts to pierce through, the darkness still envelopes us. Perhaps we are still waiting for an emptiness in our life to give birth to a renewal of faith.

Jesus, on this path we are walking, please come meet us. That we may begin to live into the truths of Easter. Allow our encounter with you to break open this new season. Amen.


Photo Credit: The Dark Path

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