HOLDING SPACE FOR HOPE
“When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM, and that I do nothing on my own...” - John 8:21-30
A significant part of our lives lies in the hands of the unknown and the province of fate. Our minds are unable to peer into the future and wrestle with every last bit of ambiguity. Our mental telescopes permit us only to see so far. As we journey into the wilderness of this Lenten season, God invites us to rest on the pillow of uncertainty and equip ourselves with an attitude of benevolent trust.
When I first received news to quarantine over two weeks ago, I found it challenging to focus on anything in the present moment. The uncertainty had me unsettled. I defaulted to my usual coping mechanism of intellectualizing my experience through research and keeping current with the flood of news. Thoughts of the future overshadowed the present. What if my family or friends get the virus? What will happen to my clients? Will we experience another stock market crash similar to 2008? How will I cultivate a space for my daughter to feel safe and informed at the same time? How is our world going to recover?
Overwhelmed by the grief of the world I once knew, I opened up both palms and asked God to ground me, bring perspective, and return me to the present. The next day, like a swimmer lost at sea, I began to grasp for the things that could lead me safely to shore, such as running. As I ran, the rhythm of my breathing began to calm me, to lead me to realms of thought I had never experienced before. My running became a time of healing, meditation, prayer, and inner work. God walked with me through the stages of grief to finally embrace acceptance and root myself in gratitude: This is happening. I can quarantine. For now, I have everything I need. There’s electricity, running water, and food. I can learn to adapt.
The readings today bring forth the lessons we learn when we begin to trust in the Lord. During this time of quarantine, I discovered how we all could overcome the unthinkable and be reborn. We can live life not as survivors but as partakers and participants. Nature teaches us that the world will carry on, will continue to thrive, and repair itself. Due to the many lockdowns, there is less pollution globally. Mother Earth is now healing. We, too, will continue to grow and flourish in the face of adversity.
Lord, shelter me in Your love and give me the courage to hold space for hope to breathe and expand.
Tam Lontok