Open the Door
In confession a year ago, I told a Jesuit that I felt far from God. I was struggling with my mental health, and my faith was growing heavier and more unfamiliar by the day. My confessor’s response was straightforward: “When we feel distant from God, we’re the ones who have pulled away.”
I’ve carried this sentiment with me as I try to grow in relationship with a God who loves deeply and personally.
Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find.
But I wasn’t sure what to ask or seek until a few weeks ago, when my fiancé and I unexpectedly received news of a troubling health diagnosis in my family.
I have a hunch that most of us are far more likely to tell our loved ones, “I’ll be there whenever you need,” than we are to ask the same of them. So, the night we received the news, my first thought surprised me: I don’t want to do this alone.
I texted two close friends, asking them to come over. My fiancé and I went home to my roommate, and soon our friends arrived. (I later found out that one called the other, who was already asleep, but rolled out of bed to drive over.) We squeezed onto the couch, and they held me tightly, brushing my hair back as they listened to my worries and fears.
I awoke the next morning with a lingering melancholy, but also quiet awe at being loved by people who show up at my door in the middle of the night, just to provide comfort and solace. I only needed to ask. I only needed to answer the door.
What are you seeking on your Lenten journey? Are there any “doors” God might be calling you to open?
Gabrielle Poma